Three Tips for Managing Stress during the Holidays

When we talk about the upcoming holidays, I find that we typically imagine people falling on the opposite and extreme spectrums: loving the holidays and hating the holidays. An underdiscussed third group is somewhere in the middle, a group of people who have a fondness towards holidays but for one reason or another feel a heightened sense of dread or stress as the holidays approach. This can be due to feeling stretched thin between multiple engagements, dreading interactions with problematic family members, financial strain or maybe even a difficulty managing sobriety with all of the social gatherings. Whatever your reasons are, the following tips can support you in managing the Holidays.

Determine your Capacity and Establish Boundaries

Any client of mine is familiar with the question: “What is your capacity?”. I ask it so frequently because I fear we do not ask it of ourselves enough. If we are operating life outside of our capacity, it can feel quite similar to being in a state of hypo-arousal. Hypo-arousal is categorized by feeling numb, ruminating of real or perceived social faux paus, isolating and persistently low moods. It’s not a fun or pleasant place to be. Commonly, people refer to this feeling as a “depleted social battery”. If you are able to determine that you are agreeing to too many social activities that are outside of your social capacity, it is time to establish clear boundaries with yourself. This can be challenging because we want to be involved and don’t want to let others down, but we have to also be integrous to our own mental and emotional wellbeing.

Manage your Expectations

To be human is to be flawed in one way or another, having flaws is a universal experience. Nothing about this life is perfect. Because of this simple truth, no one Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas brunch will be 100% perfect. The food might not come out quite as you imagined, others may be less willing than you to avoid political discussion while at the table, a significant other may be called in to work unexpectedly — the list continues. The point is, your holiday is not going to be the Hallmark movie moment, and that’s okay. We can curb our future disappointments by beginning with realistic expectations and practicing gratitude for the depth of humanity we do get to experience.

Self Care

The holidays bring about so many changes. There are changes to your diet, sleep patterns and even financial output. Be sensitive to this and try to refill your mental cup by practicing solid self care. Enjoy the gentler rhythms of quiet time, stopping to smell the roses (or cornucopia). Additionally, be mindful when and if you need additional support. Speaking with a trained mental health professional can be an excellent way to get support in identifying your limits, establishing internal and external boundaries and becoming more consistent with self care.

If you or anyone you know would like to start that process, call or text me at 425-728-0025. I can also be reached at admin@oliveandembertherapy.com.